Sunday, February 1, 2009

God won't help you either

What follows is an email conversation earlier this semester between Prof. Medieval Woman and Desperate Student (slightly edited):

DS: "Prof. MW, I see that your class is full - is there any way at all you could overload me into the class? I only need this class to graduate and I will be an asset to your class, I promise. This is the only class that fits my full-time work schedule."

Prof. MW: (*looking through 4-5 of these kinds of emails*) "Hi, DS. Sorry, I'm not able to overload into this class at the moment. But, enrollment is fluid early in the semester, so keep checking the online enrollment thingy and if you see a space, grab it!"

DS: (*next day*) "Has anyone dropped the class? Should I come to class on Monday in case anyone isn't there?"

Prof. MW: (*typing with Cheetos fingerprints on the keyboard*) "Not yet, as the online registration to which we all have access indicates to me as of 5 minutes ago. If someone isn't in class on Monday, they haven't necessarily dropped the course, so I advise continuing to monitor the registration online. I myself do not keep a waiting list because of that system. There are already 4-5 students who want into the class and if I let one overload in, I will feel obligated to let all of them in."

DS: "But I really need this class! I appreciate your integrity; it's such a big part of our characters. You seem like such a wonderful educator. I'll be waiting to hear from you."

Prof. MW: (*now banging head against the keyboard in frustration. Cheetos fingerprints now transferred to forehead. Seeing stars. Cheeto-colored stars...*) "Thank you. Unfortunately it really doesn't seem like anyone is dropping the course. My suggestion would be to try to find another course that fits your schedule. Best of luck this semester."

DS: "If you can find it in your heart of hearts to let me in, I would be eternally grateful. Until you do, I'll keep checking back with you and just trust God to find a way."

Prof. MW: "God isn't getting you into this class either. Expect the restraining order to arrive by 5pm today."

7 comments:

Doctor Cleveland said...

I recently got a request from a student to add her as an overload because, when she had first checked the online registration for my class, there was one space left, and she could have taken that space then. But then when she checked back, the course was filled. So, could I add her?

squadratomagico said...

I love cheetos. Mmm, orangey goodness.

Contemporary Troubadour said...

Oh, students ... I got two adds last week, one of which made sense because there were slots open in the section the student was placed in, but the other got added to an already full section. Thanks, English department, for enforcing the limits you so loudly insist *we* cannot break by letting students sit in on class in hopes that someone will drop :P. I'm not really concerned about the extra body in the full section -- I just don't see the point of the numerous all-caps e-mails from the department about their enrollment policy!

(Rant over.)

Barbara said...

Is it just me (or my students), or do students like DS, when the policy is broken to allow them to enroll, turn out to be complete slackers who figure getting *into* the class is equivalent to *passing* the class? My rule is, if you aren't there on the first day, you aren't in the class - registered or waitlisted. If you are there, you're in, even if that puts the course over the cap. Makes life easier for everyone (or at least me!)

Notorious Ph.D. said...

Dear Student: God is busy helping professional athletes and grammy nominees right now, so you might check for other classes, just as a backup.

Susan said...

I just got an e-mail, two weeks into the semester, from a student who wanted to add a class because ze has just decided to change majors & still wants to graduate in December. It was sent in the middle of the class meeting -- had said student thought a few hours ahead, ze might have COME to the class!

ink said...

Having been trapped in such conversations at the beginning of every new semester, I admire how cheerfully and kindly you first responded!