Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Let me see if I have this straight...

As seen around the interwebs...

I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight.....

*If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're "exotic, different."

*If you grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, yours is a quintessential American story.

*If your name is Barack, you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

*Name your kids Willow,Trig and Track, you're a maverick.

*Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

*Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.

*If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, sp end 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.

*If your total resume is: local weather girl,4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second-highest-ranking executive and next in line behind a man in his eighth decade.

*If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.

*If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and then left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a true Christian.

*If you teach responsible, age-appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

*If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.

*If your wife is a Harvard graduate laywer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner-city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's.

* If your husband is nicknamed "First Dude," with at l east one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now.


Sisyphus said...

Ahhh, thank you.

Pilgrim/Heretic said...

Zing! You nailed it. Excellent.

adjunct whore said...

perfect, i'm copying seen here, of course!