Friday, October 5, 2007

A Dialogue Between Medieval Woman and her Article Notes

MW: Hi! How have you been? I know I'm late getting back together with you....but, um, the traffic was hell. Really. Hell. Brutal hell.

AN: (*sniff*)

MW: What? Are you giving me the cold shoulder? I told you it would take a while before I'd get back to you. I mean, I have other responsibilities.

AN: Oh? And what am I? Chopped liver?

MW: Well, at the moment...I mean, let's be honest, you've looked better.

AN: And how the hell would you know how I look?! Silence. Nothing but cold dark silence between us for months! You never call, you never....write!

MW: I know, I know...

AN: You know I'm not going to be around forever, don't you? I have a shelf life. I have big plans....I could be a series of essays! Even a book!

MW: Now, now - let's not go overboard here...

AN: I am cutting edge, baby. I'm so sharp you can't even see me! I'm going to change the face of medieval studies! Kneel before me, supplicant. Kiss my boots...

MW: (*under breath*) Note to self: when you leave your article notes alone for too long they get delusions of grandeur.

AN: You're not bowing low enough. And where's my offering? I'll accept a pan of brownies - nothing less.

MW: Look, I realize I'm to blame for all of this - I really did leave you in a vacuum and...

AN: No shit. And one of your damn cats threw up a hair ball on me.

MW: Yeah, I saw that - I'll need to re-copy that page.

AN: (*makes rude gesture*)

MW: Okay, enough of the hostility! I tell you what, I'll take you to Sonic and get you dinner.

AN: Really? With tater tots?

MW: Whatever you want.

AN: And a strawberry vanilla diet coke?

MW: Sky's the limit. And we can cruise there with the windows down and play our El DeBarge tape.

AN: Well...okay. But I need to start getting some better treatment around here or I'm gonna spontaneously combust. I mean it...

MW: Yeah, yeah...research immolation is a bitch...


Sisyphus said...

Hahahahahaha! --- oh, wait.

I think I need to give that dissertation a call --- what's his number again?

Belle said...

Did Notes approve of the Sonic infusion? Maybe the trick is to leave them alone until they are so happy you're there they bow to you?

If you see mine, would you have them give me a call? They wandered off a while back... I just noticed. Cold case.

medieval woman said...

Hi Belle - the notes DID approve of the Sonic infusion, but I'm going to have to woo them a bit more before I can get any progress. Ugh - getting back into research really is like reviving a cold case!

squadratomagico said...

Medieval Woman, you pamper your notes. My goodness -- you have to show these creeps a strong hand, girl! Put the fear of font into them: Tell them if they don't shape up, you'll put them into Times New Roman. They'll be better behaved, I guarantee it.