Thursday, September 13, 2007

Meet the Players

Okay, so I'm avoiding work at the moment. I'm also avoiding blowing up the air mattress that Medieval Pop will sleep on when he visits this weekend (starting tonight). I'm avoiding thinking about research or the lack thereof. Avoiding thinking about the job market.

But it also occurs to me that it's getting a little crowded over here at Medieval Woman HQ (what with all the magical creatures I've employed for various nefarious purposes). So, I thought I would post something frivolous for a change (yeah, right!) and introduce everyone to...everyone:


Medieval Woman: Your Host; medievalist, action movie enthusiast, 80s music obsessed, Coke Zero and Twinkie addict.

The Dutchman: husband, lord of the alien spacecraft cum mini-grill flame, eater of raw herring, inhabiter of places far away, bringer of general joy and silliness, drinker of much beer.

Furball #1: The boy-half of the Wonder Twins; likes tuna and yogurt; sings The Mournful Water Song to his water dish. Likes to drool on my shoulder.

Furball #2: The girl-half of the Wonder Twins; generally of spherical shape, likes to sleep on my face, has one kidney.

The Gnomes: a.k.a. "Job Market Gnomes" now tentatively christened "Article/Research Gnomes". They will do a little light housekeeping (i.e., pushing clutter out of sight under large pieces of furniture) if they're bored and Judge Judy isn't on. Eat chicken McNuggets and Yoo-Hoo. Handy at making voo-doo dolls of one's enemies so that revenge will be swift and satisfying. Since they've been falling down on the job lately, I've sent gnome detachments to both Sisyphus and Heu Mihi for job market purposes.

MW's Band of Ninja Warriors: Built low to the ground for quick, discreet, interventions. Specialize in assassinations, over-throwing small governments, and children's birthday parties. These warriors are sent all over the world procurring my "Heart's Desire" (i.e., Coke Zero, Twinkies, and Tostitos). They are fond of Haribo Fuzzy Peach rings and Sprite. They don't do windows.

MW Death Ray: Recently taken out of mothballs for the new school year - I've made some new modifications (i.e., the "student mind control" setting that will simultaneously microwave me a Hot Pocket).

Newly Acquired Unicorn: Brought in specifically for the purpose of getting TD and I jobs together. Not sure I'm keeping this - we'll see after this job market season. It keeps nibbling on my ficus tree. Looked after by my Lucky Leprechauns (who did NOT bring me the pot of gold they promised!)

That's all for now - perhaps a run-down of occasional cast members and cameo appearances later: including various members of the Medieval Clan and the occasional big nasty bug that invades MW HQ before being summarily dispatched.


heu mihi said...

So *that's* what knocked my macaroni and cheese over last night--the job market gnomes! I'll bet they're also responsible for tipping over the glass of water that was on the table that I was moving out of the way in order to clean up my spilled dinner. If so, I'm grateful that they managed to wing the glass back towards me at the last moment, thereby sparing the stack of papers sitting right beside it--they may be clumsy, but they've still got good heads on their shoulders.

Anyway, thanks! I'll have have to get started prepping them for The Big Day (tomorrow!)!

Sisyphus said...

Hee! I love it. I may be inspired for silliness!

Belle said...

You don't have Choco-Genies?