Lazy Saturday

Hm, it looks like I'm doing the once a week blog thing - I am reading all of yours, though, I promise! On Thursday of this past week I had a migraine so bad that I was sick as a dog all day - couldn't keep anything down and felt absolutely like death warmed over. But, I've rallied from that (I only get one like that a year or so and it was stress induced - I had locked my jaw while asleep) and now I'm up at the office getting stuff DONE! I have my club sandwich and diet coke nearby. My music's on, I'm ready to go.

Other tidbits:

1) I have recently discovered a new gadget: the sweater shaver. This is awesome! I shaved two of my sweaters that looked like they needed to be forcibly shoved into rehab they had so many pills. Now, they're clean and sober.

2) Furball #1 had his last thyroid check yesterday (to test the success of his nuclear experience) and he has a perfectly clean bill of health - he's gained almost a pound and his thyroid level is even a bit low (but not into hypothyroid levels), so it looks like the procedure was a success! And his early heart condition has even cleared up b/c his thyroid is no longer wonky.

3) It must be almost spring because Miss P, the blind lady next door, has begun to surreptitiously feel my lawn again. Apparently the wild chives in our yard have sprung up recently b/c I hear these little trimming noises once in a while (*clip! clip! clip!*) - it's like being forced to live in a grooming salon.

I got nothin' else...

Happy Heart Day and Other Bits of Fluff

The stress level at Medieval Woman HQ has been off the charts. So much so that my blood pressure has spiked into "Immediate Stroke" territory. My doctor actually peered at me to see if I was still breathing and asked: "Are you a little jumpy lately?"

"Yes," I replied with eyes bulging.

So, I'm on a host of new meds to help reduce anxiety and bring the blood pressure down into life-sustaining levels. One thing about me - I wear all my emotions on my sleeve. Literally. My body can't hide anything. I would be the worst spy on earth - the first one discovered and dispatched by the enemy. TD was his usual wonderful self and got me a block of 5 massages so I'm going every week for over a month to have her work out the knots in my neck and shoulders (where my legion of stress fiends reside). And I'm eating better.

Why so stressed, you ask?

Because we've now heard that ABSOLUTELY NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING IS WORKING OUT FOR US AGAIN THIS YEAR!!!!!!

The other university that had offered TD the job and was pushing us to make a decision in 20 minutes renegged. Not for funding reasons but because they suck and they got their panties in a wad when we wouldn't capitulate to their ridiculous timeline. (My ninjas have put them in their "black book" of universities who will receive weapons-grade anthrax in their Arbor Day cards this year). We put them off because we were honestly thinking something would work out at the Dream Academy. It was a calculated risk and it backfired, but them's the breaks. I don't regret making that choice and I'm not unhappy about our decision to put them off. However, this does mean that my husband continues to work at a place that will never employ me and that we have to do all of this again next year.

Hence the stress. Put off plans to live together, save money together, have baby together, etc. for god knows how long.

This week has also been the week from hell and it's finally over - woo-hoo! Job candidates have been through and it's now over. I had some extra university work to do this week and it's now over. So, last night I languished at home, cleaned, made chicken burritos, and generally felt great. Today is lunch with friend and then dinner with more friends. Tomorrow is work. Monday is massage morning and margarita night.

I'm looking forward to the summer (who isn't?) because it's going to be very chill. TD will be here for 4 months and I've just had to drop out of a summer conference abroad because I can't afford it - travel funding here is very wonky because of budget issues and I can't afford to pay anything out of pocket this year (not with $3300 in taxes to pay). But, this means that we will:

1) Work lots - I'll finish my book manuscript
2) Go camping frequently
3) Grill many burgers
4) Perhaps go to the beach with J&A

No big trips, no big conferences, no big shakes. Just work and relax.

Ahhhhh....I can feel my blood pressure going down already....

God won't help you either

What follows is an email conversation earlier this semester between Prof. Medieval Woman and Desperate Student (slightly edited):

DS: "Prof. MW, I see that your class is full - is there any way at all you could overload me into the class? I only need this class to graduate and I will be an asset to your class, I promise. This is the only class that fits my full-time work schedule."

Prof. MW: (*looking through 4-5 of these kinds of emails*) "Hi, DS. Sorry, I'm not able to overload into this class at the moment. But, enrollment is fluid early in the semester, so keep checking the online enrollment thingy and if you see a space, grab it!"

DS: (*next day*) "Has anyone dropped the class? Should I come to class on Monday in case anyone isn't there?"

Prof. MW: (*typing with Cheetos fingerprints on the keyboard*) "Not yet, as the online registration to which we all have access indicates to me as of 5 minutes ago. If someone isn't in class on Monday, they haven't necessarily dropped the course, so I advise continuing to monitor the registration online. I myself do not keep a waiting list because of that system. There are already 4-5 students who want into the class and if I let one overload in, I will feel obligated to let all of them in."

DS: "But I really need this class! I appreciate your integrity; it's such a big part of our characters. You seem like such a wonderful educator. I'll be waiting to hear from you."

Prof. MW: (*now banging head against the keyboard in frustration. Cheetos fingerprints now transferred to forehead. Seeing stars. Cheeto-colored stars...*) "Thank you. Unfortunately it really doesn't seem like anyone is dropping the course. My suggestion would be to try to find another course that fits your schedule. Best of luck this semester."

DS: "If you can find it in your heart of hearts to let me in, I would be eternally grateful. Until you do, I'll keep checking back with you and just trust God to find a way."

Prof. MW: "God isn't getting you into this class either. Expect the restraining order to arrive by 5pm today."