Thursday, November 11, 2010

Feeling so overwhelmed

Yep. That's me.

It's taken me a while to admit that, but it's true. Having twins is hard. They both start crying at the same time. Each feeding takes 45 minutes if you're doing it yourself. I don't know what they want from me. I can't pick them up at the same time b/c I'm not strong enough and they're gaining tons of weight. When I do try to pick one up to calm him down I usually get kicked in my gut somewhere around my incision and it hurts like hell.

I've had 3 surgeries in two months all of which required varying kinds of anesthetic, from general to local to in-between. My post-partum anxiety and anemia threw me for such a loop and just as that was subsiding, the gall bladder thing happened. I haven't felt healthy in so long.

The boys - Sir Guy in particular - have been so fussy lately - they're awake much more now during the day and they. just. cry. Sometimes no amount of holding, changing location, distraction will make them stop. They're still too young to really play and be entertained and it's just so hard with two of them. They sleep really well at night (with intermittent feedings), but the days and especailly evenings are a chore.

No one needs to worry about me - I have all the support we can afford and rely on from friends and I'm seeing all the proper peeps. But even with all that, I still feel overwhelmed. I just want to stop being sore and exhausted all the time.

I know lots of you don't have kids - I just wanted to vent a little. Thanks.


Good Enough Woman said...

I missed the gall bladder situation! Wow. That's a LOT to deal with. When my first was about 3.5 months, I was a mess. I didn't feel healthy at all because I was trying to restrict eating things that would make the baby fussy. Plus I was tired, etc. I felt terrible. Also, several weeks (maybe 10?) after the second baby was born, I had a kidney stone. But it passed quickly, and I didn't have TWINS, so I can't totally relate.

When my son was little, he was pretty fussy during the day. Nothing I did would help. Then I realized that he was "overtired" because he wasn't napping well. I won't bore you with all of the details, but the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" saved my life. And I just looked up the author in order to spell his name correctly (Marc Weissbluth) , and he has a new book about twins ("Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins')! I know you said they are sleeping well at night (which is GREAT), but Weissbluth really helped me with daytime sleep patterns as well, which then really helped reduced the crying and fussiness all day. Here's a link to an interview with him:

You probably have info overload and no time to read these things, but he really is great. I'm sure he addresses various aspects of daytime and nighttime schedules for sleep and food. Plus, he's a pediatrician and scientist (not just a armchair prognosticator). Just thought I'd share, for what it's worth.

Hang in there! It gets easier. Eventually. Periodically. And if you do end up curled up in a fetal position on the bed at the end of the day? It happens. To a lot of people. But I'm glad you have a support system!

Good Enough Woman said...

I just read the interview, and it's not all that helpful. Maybe even confusing. You might want to skip it. The best part was probably when he suggested making the Dad read the books (like his) 'cause Moms have enough going on.


Notorious Ph.D. said...

Is it possible that they're teething already? That might explain the extra-fussiness.

And I won't worry, because you tell me not to, but I do hope that things reach some sort of acceptable equilibrium for you and TD and the twins soon.

This Ro(a)mantic Life said...

Overwhelmed is a sucky place to be. But multiple surgeries and multiple babies and multiple roles to take on in an ever-shifting life -- it makes total sense that you're feeling as you do. Hoping things will ease off soon.


Sisyphus said...

I'm sorry things are tough right now! Things will get better.

Are they old enough to smile at you yet? That helps a bit.

Sending mental waves of awesomeness!

After I get another round of job apps out I'll send the elves and ninjas back for baby duty.

the rebel lettriste said...

You know I feel you.

One thing that helped the fuss for my crew was the tight tight tight swaddle. Twins are comforted by the binding because it maybe recalls the womb?! The other thing was just to wear them in slings, which may be more difficult for their momma-in-recovery-from-abdominal-surgery. But the ergo carrier is quite comfortable, and my twain love it; also the moby works, too. When the fuss would erupt, sometimes plopping them into a carrier (or the stroller!) and heading outside was the only thing that works.

At any rate, I empathize.

Dr. Virago said...


What Now? said...

No empathy, what with not being a mom or having had surgery, but oodles and oodles of sympathy. It's small wonder that you're feeling overwhelmed, given all of the stressors (some joyful, some not) in your life at the moment. I'm glad you're getting plenty of support -- sending you best wishes.

Andrea said...

I havn't had kids but many of my friends have and all I can say is it sounds like par for the course but double. :) In other words - this sucks but it's normal. I am convinced that nature evolved the young of any species to be adorable so we don't just abandon them in overwhelmed disgust. (that was all that saved my babies (my cats) from being thrown from the balcony some days when they were kittens) and the reason that they have those sleep patterns is so that parents willbe exhausted and go through the experience in a haze rather than be fully aware of the torture!

squadratomagico said...

Sorry it's so tough! It really does sound overwhelming, for now, but I know it will all be a blurry memory soon.

Sending lots of supportive thoughts!

((((((Medieval Woman!)))))

Doctor Cleveland said...

Never apologize for actually noticing what your body is telling you. What's happening with your body is a reality; sometimes you can work around it a little, but you can't just ignore it.