Friday, March 25, 2011

Pavlovian Wiggle Dance

As we all know, Pavlov was right with his dogs and all. But it also holds true for babies. Sirs Guy and Miles have begun a strange ritual wherein they do a special dance whenever the serviette (our hotsy-totsy word for a burp-cloth) is placed on their chest in advance of their bottle. It can only be described as a kind of undulating break dance move (I know, because I could do something similar back in 1984) with their mouths open in urgent expectation like this:



So, this is a representation of the mind of a six-and-a-half-month-old around feeding time:

1) [*vague urge begins*] Wasn't their something called a bottle? Didn't I like it? I wonder when it will come to me again. Hmmmmmzzzzzzzz.......

2) [*urge becomes more urgent*] Okay, I wasn't kidding around. I kinda would like to have that bottle-thing again. Hello? Are you listening to me? Fine, I'll crap in my pants to get your attention...

3) [*urge become obsession*] bottlebottlebottlebottlebottlebottlebottlebottlebottlebottlebottlebottlebottlebottlebottlebottlebottle.......

4) [*obsession leads to fury*] Where the f_ck is my BOTTLE!!!!!!!!!

5) [*fury leads to utter despair*] There will never be another bottle. All is lost. I'll just curl up here in the corner of my bed, like a farty little croissant, and try to suck on my fingers for a little nourishment. My minutes are numbered...

6) [*magic serviette is placed upon them*] JOY! THE BOTTLE COMETH AFTER ALL!

7) [*cue the Pavlovian Wiggle Dance*]

By the way, I'm eating nachos for breakfast.

2 comments:

Sisyphus said...

I love it! Both the baby-translation and that you're having nachos for breakfast. I approve.

Meansomething said...

Hilarious!
So fortunate that babies endlessly replenish one's sense of humor, since they also do so much to erode it :-)