If you blog it....

...they will NOT come! Nope. Uh-uh. Not even close. They will drop the ball.

Murphy's Law of Blogging:

The second that you talk about how good (of a little odd at times) your students are, they suck the next class!

And they have no excuse. Absolutely none. And there's no rhyme or reason to it.

I remembered today that I am applying for a job - the one that's at Dutchman U. I was reminded of this because TD's chair went to talk to the chair of that department to discuss my candidacy and to inform them that TD's departure might be imminent, i.e. they could lose him (which they don't want to do, of course). There's a *very* different hiring structure in place in TD's field (which is a social science). While they have a national conference (similar to our MLA) where they interview job candidates, if they find someone they like who's slightly more advanced - even a year or two - they will fly them out whenever they want and offer them a job if they like them. TD is actually reaping the benefits of this hiring system when he comes out for his (oh-please-dear-gods-and-demigods--let-it-be-successful) job talk at Neighoring U at the end of November.

Last year when I was on the market and it was looking pretty likely that I would be leaving Dutchman U, I had to field a lot of incredulous looks and questions from TD's colleagues. Some of them were slightly infuriating and chauvinist, like: "but TD is here now...you guys are here now!" And of course, I replied: "I am not fully here unless I have job security and am not wasting my fucking Ph.D. teaching shit I'm not trained to teach!" (but I put it in a nicer way...) These comments were always from men with stay-at-home wives or wives who weren't able to get teaching jobs yet still stayed with their husbands. (I should also mention here that I actually like 96% of TD's colleagues, but his field is still pretty conventionally male-populated with portable spouses). But I also felt like I needed to defend how my humanities department does its hiring. TD's colleagues kept saying, "but we don't understand...you're a good teacher and a good scholar. Why don't they just hire you?" I'm like, "because there's not a t-t line open in my field and they can't/won't create one out of thin air just to keep little junior faculty me on the books!" Sigh.

So goes the background. This year, however, the case is slightly different: there is a t-t line open in my field (and there are now 2 separate spouses of t-t faculty at DU who are bucking for the position - Holy Conundrums, Batman!). So, TD's chair went to discuss my candidacy with my former chair. I told them what he would say (which is: MW is more than welcome to submit an application for this position - indeed we look forward to reading it - but we will be conducting a full international search and cannot make any promises at this time), but TD's people scoffed a bit and said, "Nah! We're going to see what we can work out! If money's an issue, we can try to get around that". I just sighed again and let them do whatever.

I have this vision of TD's chair going into this meeting with his finger guns out and blazing and winking and saying, "let's make a deal!" - and of course, my former chair said exactly what I knew he'd say. He wasn't rude - he was just matter of fact. I'm not a superstar and I'm by no means an inside candidate because there are 25 of me just as well trained and probably even better published and committeed and they're all shooting for this particular star!

So, TD's chair was unhappy about how unyielding things seemed and TD said, "I guess this really might not work out, huh? I guess I really do need to throw all my energies into trying to get the position at Neighboring U" (which they actually seem excited about wanting to give him!)

I'm not sure whether to cry or laugh - I realized that when I told him that he would be a helluva lot more portable than I am that he really didn't believe that until now. It's so frustrating and tedious to have to explain things over and over again - did they think I was lying? Or being deliberately obtuse? Or are they really just that sheltered? It has struck home a lot recently and I've been reminded about how truly archaic a lot of academia is. It's not just that the two-body problem is only now being addressed by most schools (and even then, lots of places don't give a rat's ass). It's that for so many departments and universities/colleges, they haven't a fucking clue!

Wives follow husbands. That simple.

It's not that the Dutchman would ever really think that way if I put the question to him like that. It's just that he's become a bit complacent because he's now happily ensconced in a department that insulates their men and makes them think it's easy to balance their work and personal life. That annoys me more than anything. I have to periodically drag him into the light and force him to look at the reality and each time he blinks like he's never seen anything before. It's all new to him and it fucking-well shouldn't be.

Whoa. This turned into a rant and I didn't even mean to go there. I just had some things on my chest that I needed to get off. It's also one of the reasons why I don't like to be reminded that I need to apply for this job...

Here's the Skinny

I clearly need to get into my blogging groove again! I feel like I've been falling down on the job! Buuuuut, I'm teaching four days a week this semester (due to a last minute change that had me sacrificing one of my T/Th classes for a M/W one). I'm still teaching only 2 courses, so I'm in the classrom a grand total of 75 minutes a day, but I forgot how tiring this schedule can be (because I'm a cream puff. I don't work in a mine 8 hours a day! Why am I complaining?). At any rate, it's psychically taxing to have it drawn out in little bits over the week. Friday there are always meetings, etc. going on. I haven't been sleeping well with TD gone - it always takes me about 4 days to get back into my solo sleep rhythm.

But, here's what's on my mind at the moment: rectifying this perverse "living apart" thing. It's looking like this year will be make or break. All the planets and attendant satellites are aligning; my oracles are emailing me constantly. Even the Lucky Leprechauns I flew in especially for this purpose are working overtime to make things happen.

I've spoken to my dept. chair about the job openings in nearby universities for TD - there is a "regional component" to the spousal hiring policy (and I use the term loosely!) in this state university system. We've made spousal hires for folks who've gotten t-t jobs at neighboring unis. Happiness will ensue if this could be reciprocal. But, every spousal case is different and brings its own unique challenges. In TD's case, they're already doing hires (which is good) so we wouldn't be asking them to create a position out of thin air. But, how to approach this? How do you nudge lovingly and not have it be taken as an obnoxious, unwelcome poke in the ribs by the other school?

Hmmm...my dept. chair didn't know, so it was tossed up to the Dean to see what he thought. He didn't know exactly how to broach the subject either, but decided to call the Provost right away (!). The Provost said he would be delighted to talk to the Provosts at Neighboring Uni. 1 & 2 - can we forward him TD's CV and the job ads? Holy crap - sure thing! As it turns out, the Provost and Dean are completely pleased to help with the whole thing - and the Dean is even speaking to the other Dean of TD's field about maybe a position here.

Now, my uni would be a bit of a challenge for TD to fit into. He does theoretical models of cattle-herding, whereas this dept. would be more the practical, applied side of cattle-herding; the care and feeding of the cattle you intend to herd; strategies for making money with the cattle you herd, etc. It might be hard for him to find good cattle, I mean, colleagues to talk to here and this is important for his work. But, ya know - as many cow patties as we can get on the fire, the better, huh? Bad continuation of that analogy, I know...

So, all this Bodes Well. My leprechaun-team and job market gnomes are happy to have Deans and Provosts on board. Many hands make light work, they tell me.

In other related, highly ironic news, TD's Univ. (where I taught last year), is hiring in my exact field. Um, let's work on our timing, folks! Buuut, I feel that I should apply for this job. Because once it's filled, it ain't coming around again for a long time and then that window will be closed for us. I've known about this for a while and I've been debating about whether to blog about it. But I can't keep much from you bloglets - except, MY INDENTITY! - and it's pretty easy to wheedle that out of me by emailing me. I must say, however, that all things being equal, my personal and geographical predilections mean that I'd like to stay here and have TD get a job nearby. But, we want to be together and get our future in forward motion (which includes a house and a Medieval Baby at some point soon). TD declares that this is priority #1, so it's pretty much "together anywhere that will hire us both".

So, is it now clear why this is looking to be a *magical* year? When in Zeus's name will our mutual job markets ever again align themselves "just so"? And then I think - oh shit - what if even with all this cosmic, administrative, and magical creature help we still fail to procure employment together? Back to the drawing board? What drawing board??? Argh.

Nope, nope. I'm pulling a Scarlett O'Hara. Not gonna think about that. Something tells me that all this isn't chance, we haven't ended up in this position (career-wise, a good one) that has opened up a number of opportunities all for naught.

But just in case, I'm getting a unicorn.

Back to our Regularly Scheduled Blogging...

I had to type the word "regularly" 4 times because it looked so weird.

So, TD left today on a jet plane (a Canadair Regional Jet to be precise) and he's now happily munching a hotdog in the Detroit airport waiting for his connection. I was sad to see him leave, but it wasn't even remotely as bad as it was the first time. He'll be back in less than 2 weeks and will stay for 9 days.

In the meantime, my life is on fastforward - gone are the days of lounging around and pining away for my husband. It's now gearing up for teaching, meetings, grant proposals, conference proposals, faculty orientations, office hours, etc. I'm having difficulty keeping it all straight! I'm also trying to carve out some time to continue chipping away at that article.

Lists...off to make lists...

And So it Begins...

Well, as of today, I'm officially in a commuter marriage. And it kinda sucks.

I've heard from TD at the airport in between the two legs of his flight and he had a very weird encounter with a guy at a bar.

He and the guy start chatting and the guy says that he's married, lives in Dallas with a wife and two kids. And, supposedly he'd just missed his flight because he was talking up some cute girl in the bar who just left. And then the guy tells TD that he's also dating a stripper who's getting insurance money from her wrecked Mercedes to buy her and her friend boob jobs. And then the guy asks TD what he does and after telling him our situation the guy says two things:

1) "You gotta be careful about temptation - but not too careful, heh heh..."

2) "I coulda been an academic - the thing that was the most appealing to me would be teaching all of those hot undergrad chicks."

Now, TD was very upset and scandalized by this because he's pure and good and has never been touched by sleaziness. I, of course, said straight out: "The guy was lying, babe - he's just a loser stuck in an airport trying to make his life sound better (at least to his mind) than it is..."

TD said, "It never even occured to me that he would be lying..."

And this is why I love him and have absolutely no worries about anything while we're apart...